here we are... i'm starting up a blogging life for my christian thoughts and experiences...
i did a ton of this back in the day. those musings and thrashings can be found at my old blog, www.thegrubbykupp.blogspot.com
for what its worth, i stand by it.
i'm that guy.
i'm the guy who got interrupted by Jesus when I was almost 17...
i'm the guy who was totally 100% crazy about Jesus for a decade, but didn't have very many people in my life who... who shot straight about what it means to be a disciple of Jesus...
I'm the guy who went "full-time" in professional "ministry" in the late 90's
...and bounced around from church staff position to church staff position just long enough to learn that...
i'm the guy who learned that church staff positions are usually detrimental to the spiritual life of the person in them.
i'm the guy who began to struggle in disillusionment...
who learned that although the church is a family, not all that calls itself church is the church
...and that within the churches lies the communion of saints the Church
but she's all beat up
and confused
and whaled on
by so much of the pseudo-patriotic, money-driven, project/purpose pigeonholing that leaders have come to accept as a form of living the faith out, together...
I'm the guy swimming in the fact that there is a REAL JESUS, described in Scripture...
described.
really well.
in historically reliable
spiritually powerful
terms
in the Scriptures.
This Jesus: you may not like him, you may adore him--He's not a madman, but you're not going to understand Him.
He is all about Love
but not the love we think love is...
his trip is all up there and higher than our ways and for some people that's just too much.
I understand.
but I'm totally caught up in this... and it won't let me go, even when I try to shake loose of it.
its not that i've tried to shake loose, or flee the thing, the Guy Jesus... but i've simmered in a sense of disillusioned resentment as i realized that living in the kingdom of the king means surrendering to an agenda totally other from mine... and not "at times". there's a constant need to surrender my will, my affections, preferences, and whatnot... especially in the mundane crap of life...
the mundane... this is where it really shows up--the disciple that i am or am not.
and avoiding a life of pretending... that's a major goal for me, since within me lives a great pretender...
i'm going to let you go now. i have to go be mundane...
